Funniest Dialouge In A Film

[RomZomCom]

All Tarantinos movies, and Dogma, of course:

"Hey man, tell me something about me."

"You mastubate more then anyone on the planet."

"Well ya, everyone knows that! Tell something people don't know."

"When your doing it your thinking about guys."

HAHA!

[Zombie Killer]

Clerks.

"You mean you never tried to suck your dick?"-Randle

"No I never have"-Dante

Then a little silence.

"I could never reach"-Dante

"Reach what?"-Randle

"My dick."-Dante

"I never tried to suck my own dick. You sick pervert."-Randle

And Mallrats of course.

Brodie: But my cousin Walter jerked off in public once. True story. He was on a plane to New Mexico when all of the sudden the hydraulics went. The plane started spinning around, going out of control, so he decides it's all over and whips it out and starts beating it right there. So all the other passengers take a cue from him and they start whipping it out and beating like mad. So all the passengers are beating off, plummeting to their certain doom, when all of the sudden, *Snap* the hydraulics kick back in. The plane rights itself and it land safely and everyone puts their pieces or, whatever, you know, away and deboard. No one mentions the phenomenon to anyone else.

Gil Hicks: Well, did he cum, or what?

Brodie: Jesus Christ, man. There's just some things you don't talk about in public.
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Brodie: Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.
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Brodie-One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all. But, the next week, he did it again--difference cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And, I says to him, "Jesus, Walt, what are you doing?! You know you're just going to get this cat stuck in your ass, too." And, he said to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?"

[RomZomCom]

Ya, Mallrats is another GREAT 1.

Brandi: If we we're making whoopie--

Brodie: Whats whoopie?

Brandi: Well, if we were being intimate...

Brodie: What you mean like fucking?

haha

[Shaun]

Rofl.